


just the fact (that we were in love)

by jisxngie



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: ALSO I'LL REMEMBER IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SONG I'M--, Angst, DAY6 THE KINGS OF DOING EVERY STYLE OF ROCK OUT THERE, EVERYDAY6 IS ALMOST OVER I WANT TO CRY, Light Angst, M/M, also im sorry but this is just day6 grieving over brian dying, i'll tag for both, is this light or is it just pure angst????, like im actually sorry, my frIEND CALLED ME A SADIST FOR WRITING THIS I DONT BLAME HER
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 08:37:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12453633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jisxngie/pseuds/jisxngie
Summary: the stage already feels empty. without brian’s stupid jokes to hype them up, without his bright smile to calm their nerves, without his fingers intertwined with jae’s just because ‘he feels like it’. instead, in the place where sungjin used to stand, there’s nothing but the bass that hasn’t been played in four days and the framed photo sungjin had brought from their dorm.





	just the fact (that we were in love)

jae carefully carries brian’s bass in his shaking hands, his belt digging into the skin of his bony hips as he makes his way behind the curtains on stage to gently place the bass in its stand in the center of the stage. they’d changed their set up a little bit. jae was still in his place on the left of the stage, his guitars resting a little to the left of dowoon’s drums. sungjin had swapped places with brian, his place now on the very right of the stage instead of the center. jae’s fingers linger on brian’s bass a little while longer as he looks at the lone table next to the guitar stand.

a photo of brian is there; framed, smiling almost hauntingly up at him. (the glare of the lights block out his eyes.)

jae blinks away the sudden wetness in his eyes when sungjin calls his name for their final sound check.

he lets go of brian’s bass. (his fingers tremble.)

the sound check goes about as smoothly as they can make it. jae notices wonpil clutch dowoon’s hand a little too tight when the director accidentally calls brian’s name to check his bass is tuned and his mic is working. sungjin’s sitting off to the side, earpieces in as an attempt to block out the world as he sits and stares at the ground. jae fixes up his pristine white jacket, his rings clinking against each other as he does so.

“okay! you’re on in 30 minutes!”

wonpil sighs and shakes his hands out, closing his eyes to let his stylist fix up his eyeshadow. dowoon’s sitting silently and getting his hair touched up. jae glances at sungjin and smiles at him a little, sungjin smiles back, getting up and striding over to him.

“we’ll be okay, right?” wonpil pipes up when he’s finished getting his makeup done, fiddling with the bracelets secured around his wrist.  
“yeah, we’ll be just fine,” sungjin grabs jae’s smooth hand in his calloused one and tightens his grip when the director calls for 20 minutes.

 

they move onto the stage when the director calls them to do so, tacking a ‘10 minutes!’ onto the end. there are a lot of people in the hall already, the sounds of their shoes and their loud talking and fangirling calming jae’s nerves a bit. (his hands are sweaty, they’re still shaking.) he slips his guitar over his head, the strap digging into the back of his neck as he adjusts it. sungjin’s fixing up his earpiece and dowoon and wonpil are talking in the back before they get called to move to their respective instruments.

the stage already feels empty. without brian’s stupid jokes to hype them up, without his bright smile to calm their nerves, without his fingers intertwined with jae’s just because ‘he feels like it’. instead, in the place where sungjin used to stand, there’s nothing but the bass that hasn’t been played in four days and the framed photo sungjin had brought from their dorm. jae shifts his glasses to wipe at the corners of his eyes, getting rid of the moisture there. he isn’t going to cry, he doesn’t want to cry.

he drops his hand to his side, clasping at nothing.

he really wants to hold brian’s hand. (he’s not there anymore.)

“1 minute!”

the stage lights dim, the speakers starting to play a rearranged snippet of ‘colours’ and the fans go quiet. jae adjusts his mic stand, taking one deep breath before the stage lights dim completely.

“10 seconds!”

sungjin glances at jae even though he knows he can’t see him. the curtains draw, the music stops and the fans go wild when the lights turn back on.

dowoon kicks them off into ‘congratulations’, his steady drumming echoing through the hall as it quietens down a little bit. sungjin begins on his acoustic a little bit into the song and jae leans in to press his lips against the mic.

_now you won’t even pick up my calls_   
_instead of you, i hear a dull voice_   
_there are always hard days_   
_but you can’t win over that moment_   
_and you look for an alternative_

jae hopes to hell that it doesn’t sound like he’s been crying but when sungjin looks over as he begins his verse, he knows they’ll be okay.

 

 

jae wipes the sweat off of his forehead, quickly throwing off his jacket and pulling off his shirt to change into another one. a plain black one, with a heart over the heart and their _everyday6_ title tracks printed onto the back. his stylist rushes to fix up any of the makeup that may have rubbed off from him wiping constantly or from sweat. the fans are all screaming out the front as dowoon finishes up his piece with wonpil. that marks their second last song of the day.

sungjin pulls him into a hug and stuffs something into his hands.

“here. younghyun...wanted you to have this.”  
“wait what—”

sungjin rushes off to change and get his makeup fixed as wonpil and dowoon come in from off of the stage.

he slowly opens the box he has in his hands. there’s a note. (jae’s full name is written carefully in blue ink.)

sitting down, he unfolds the paper and sure enough, that’s brian’s perfectly imperfect handwriting.

_dear jae._

_i don’t have much time left but i’d just like to tell you that i love you_   
_i love sungjin hyung_   
_i love wonpillie_   
_i love dowoonie_   
_i love our my days_   
_i love the little family we’ve become_   
_i’m sorry i have to leave so soon_

_i hope that you’re doing okay, and i hope that the first concert without me goes well_   
_i’ll really miss you jae_   
_i’ll really miss you_

_i love you so much. i’m so sorry._

_\- younghyun._

jae doesn’t even realise he’s started crying but the darkening splotches on the paper seem to be enough to convince himself. he looks back at the box in his other hand, the glint of a silver ring staring back at him.

it’s the ring brian’s had since they had first met, the scratches and faded shine on it evidence of that. (‘younghyun’ is carved onto the inside of it.)

he slowly slips it onto the ring finger on his left hand, pressing his lips against it and squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before standing, shoving the note into his back pocket and slowly making his way back onto the stage with the other three. sungjin quickly wipes jae’s tears with a face towel that the staff hands him before they get back on stage.

“one more song, jae. one more.”

jae knows that they’re going to be performing ‘i’ll remember’. (he picks up his guitar, glancing at the bass next to him.)

he nods to the other three, and the crowd falls absolutely dead silent. (one of the fans in the front points at the hand he has brian’s ring on and he looks down at it.)

 

 

he and wonpil kick it off simultaneously, the younger’s synth and his guitar blending together as if they were one instrument. when sungjin and dowoon start playing, it sounds a little off without brian’s bass in the back but they’ll manage. (the bass sits there moving from how much the stage shakes.)

_in the passing time_  
_you’re fading away now_  
 _i’m afraid that i’ll lose you_  
 _even in my memories_

sungjin takes brian’s first verse, his husky baritone strong alongside the tune of their instruments together. jae accidently slides to the wrong chord but he’s learnt how to keep going to make it seem like that was part of the song. (he notices sungjin glancing at him.) wonpil picks up from where sungjin stops, his lips pressing almost violently against the mic from how fast he moves his head.

_the moments you gave to me_  
_they were so precious_  
 _i’ll remember_

they stop playing when wonpil’s halfway through his verse, the tumultuous beat of dowoon’s drums kicking in right as he finishes.

jae takes two deep breaths. (his eyes sting badly.)

_just the fact that we were together  
i’ll leave it in a deep part of a corner of my heart_

the crowd applauds and screams when jae sings. leading the chorus isn’t a hard thing to do, but it isn’t the easiest thing to do either. he slides to the wrong chord again and this time it’s noticeable but he keeps going, the lights shining into his sensitive eyes. the photo of brian shifts slightly across the table from how violently the amps are shaking in front of them. (jae smiles.)

(“are you watching this, brian?”)

sungjin takes the spotlight away from him and he’s glad because if he had spent even a second longer there the fans would have watched him choke down tears. somehow, the song sounds lonelier, only three of the members’ voices able to be heard throughout the hall. (jae’s seen at least 50 people break down into tears as soon as the curtains were first drawn.) brian’s smooth, powerful voice is absent and jae accidentally bumps his front teeth into the mic because _fuck_ he’s getting distracted.

they make it to the next chorus. (jae rips out one of his earpieces to hear himself and the fans better.)

this time wonpil takes brian’s part. (his unique, breathy voice flows nicely with the rhythm of the song.)

_just the fact that we were in love_  
_no matter how much time passes_  
 _i’ll remember_

jae’s fingers start to cramp from how hard he grips his guitar, strumming so forcefully he’s concerned for only a moment that his pick will snap. he wonders, just for a second, if brian is watching over them. (if he’s really there with them.) he notices wonpil stopping himself from playing the keyboard for a second to wipe at his eyes and smudge dark eye makeup everywhere.

sungjin’s voice breaks halfway through his line, and the fans yell from the top of their lungs that ‘it’s okay!’. (that they can cry.)

jae manages to convince himself that the wetness running down his cheek is purely his sweat as he presses up close to the mic to finish off the song.

_just the fact that we were together  
i’ll leave it in a deep part of a corner of my heart_

he tries his best to hide his face from the fans, his heart wrenching when they shout ‘don’t cry! please don’t cry!’ at the four of them. wonpil’s completely stopped playing, his small form crouching behind his keyboard to hide away from the stares of hundreds of fans.

_just the fact that—_

jae has to stop midway through his last chorus to choke down a sob, turning away from the fans and covering his face with his trembling hands. even from there, he can just _hear_ the sounds of the fans’ hearts breaking. sungjin takes over for him instead, his husky baritone echoing through the hall as he finishes the song off with dowoon.

_—we were in love_  
_no matter how much time passes_  
 _i’ll remember_

when the guitar fades out and the drums stop abruptly, the fans cheer and cheer for them. jae wipes pointlessly at his puffy eyes as sungjin strides over to hand him tissues from the staff.

“yah hyung, don’t cry,” sungjin smiles, rubbing the small of the taller boy’s back comfortingly.  
“i-i’m n-not crying—!” jae whines into the tissue he’s covering his mouth and nose with. (he’s never been a good liar.)

the fans chant ‘don’t cry!’ at all of them and jae quietly curses to himself in english, slowly removing his guitar from around his lanky body. brian’s bass stays where it is as the four of them move up to the front of the stage. dowoon holds wonpil’s hand tightly, fingers intertwined as the older hides his puffy face from the fans.

“don’t cry, it’s okay,” sungjin’s still trying to comfort jae, the tears brimming in dark eyes betraying the kind smile tugging at his lips.

the fans are still begging for them to stop crying. (that they’re going to be okay.) jae takes precisely three deep breaths, bending down to pick up his water bottle from in front of his mic stand. sungjin brings his microphone to his lips, chuckling breathily as he dabs at the corner of his eyes with his middle finger.

“wow.” that’s the only word sungjin can say right now, his brain being unable to form understandable sentences.

dowoon asks for tissues, sungjin runs to grab them from the staff to the side of the stage.

it’s takes a whole three minutes for all of them to calm down enough to talk.

“did we do okay?” sungjin asks, to which everyone in the room replies with different variations of the word ‘yes!’.  
“ah, sorry,” jae apologises quietly into the mic, his lips twitching into a sad smile, “i didn’t want to cry today.”  
“hyung, it’s okay,” dowoon pipes up, his dark hair falling into his eyes, “you’re not the only one that cried.”

jae tries to cover his smile when wonpil sniffs and whines at their maknae. (the fans all coo at him.)

 

 

when they’ve all said their goodbyes and the fans have all filed out of the doors, jae sighs and takes a quick glance at the bass still propped up in the center of the stage. sungjin calls for him to help take their instruments backstage and put them away in their respective cases. (jae almost trips over a cord.)

he gently picks up brian’s bass, dust already collecting on its normally spotless body. carefully, he carries it over to where wonpil is unzipping its case for him to put it in.

“do you miss him?” wonpil asks as jae zips the case up and props it up against one of the couches backstage.  
“what do you think?” there’s no bite in his words but he can feel his eyes stinging again. “aish, not again.”

“come on you two, let’s get back to the dorm,” sungjin’s voice rings in their ears and they both look up at their leader.

“no use crying over spilt milk,” sungjin smiles, and jae can _hear_ the sadness it screams. he’s trying, sungjin’s trying.

“younghyun wouldn’t want that, now would he?”

jae gets up, picking up his guitar and brian’s bass. wonpil picks up his synth.

“no, he wouldn’t,” jae mutters.

a single tiny droplet of water falls to the ground at his feet.

he’ll do it for brian. (he kisses the ring on his ring finger again.)

**Author's Note:**

> aannnndddddd welcome back to another episode of vita doesn't sleep and writes day6 instead lmfao
> 
> this happened bc i watched kimi no na wa and then i listened to i'll remember and i just was on a wild roller coaster of emotions like hOLY SHIT then i was like 'jaehyungparkian where one of them passes/has passed just to fill the angsty corner of my soul' and then this was birthed from my brain
> 
> I ALSO DIDN'T PROOFREAD THIS SO IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES PLEASE TELL ME <33
> 
> like is this even sad??? i mean yeah brian's dead but like does this tug at your emotions?? like ???  
> comment 'fucks sake vita' if it did like smh i need to know if my angst(?) skills are subpar or nah
> 
> (come yell @ me on my tumblr --> dxnghyunnie)


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